Thursday, November 29, 2007

And now.....


.... in honor of all the holstered babies here in the coffee shop right now, is a limerick written from their perspective--the Baby Bjorn perspective.


Ahem.


Bjorn Be-yearning

In bjorn repose, I yearn only to see.
Yet I see only ceiling & Mom sipping iced tea.
My neck muscles are weak,
But what I do truly seek,
Is a glimpse of what's happening behind me.



Thank you.

And also....

a haiku:


I sit suspended
My eyes spy bright colors, shapes
Mom's head is oblong.




Yes, I am procrastinating.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

whaddya gonna do?

I am--on an almost daily basis--speechless with the state of things. It usually happens when I read some of the day's stories online. Here is an example of things that I have read today. I did not search these out. They put them in front of me. This is the news.

Obesity is a big problem in the United States. But apparently, it is not getting worse. As quickly.

Obesity Rates Balancing Out

This is good news. We are just as fat as we were last year. Actually, we're a bit fatter, but just a little. It appears that we've reached a tipping point. A portly plateau.

But less of our fourth graders can read than in other countries. Ugh.

Fourth-graders losing ground on literacy

So, our kids are not keeping pace educationally, falling behind the rest of the world. Bummer, that one.

Also, it appears we may be unwittingly putting makeshift grenades to our ears.

Cell phone explosion may have killed man

What I love about this one is that the police officer says "we presume that the cell phone battery exploded." He presumes. I presume that the sun will come up. Or that Amy Winehouse could drink more whisky sours than me. I don't hasten to presume that my Nokia doubles as an IED.

So.............

Our dangerous chubbiness has peaked (virtually). U.S. children can read alright, but not as well as the children in Luxembourg. And in addition to their more common communication uses, our telephones are volatile weaponry.

I don't know about you, but I think I need a nice, cozy nap. And maybe one whisky sour.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Define 'crazy'.

To my mind, it is an inalienable right of living in this city: ready and regular access to the antics of crazy people.

I was afraid that my move a little further uptown would limit such access. It has not.

There was the guy, just a couple of weeks ago, that did pirouettes on street corners and spoke to himself. He was unkempt. His gravely voice was also giggly, which indicated a genuine enjoyment of his own ramblings. He seemed to change what he was saying based on who was passing by, and yet none of it made sense. I think at one point he told someone that walked by that their parents would never be proud of them. His stream-of-conciousness style was unwavering. It was more of a river. The River Non-Sequitir, leading to the Sea of Incoherence. Also, he smelled.

He wasn't as great as they guy I ran into on my street, though. He was was walking towards me pushing a green shopping cart overflowing with aluminum cans. This, in a very real sense, is the crazy person's standard. The sound of aluminum cans can sometimes indicate the approach of someone who may be (not always of course) off-kilter. A sort of crazy-person rattle, or Nut Knell. As it were.

As he came alongside me, he stopped but did not make eye contact. Then, in charmingly colloquial terms, he said that he would never again have intercourse with a Spanish woman. Then he moved on. Edified, I moved on as well.

Another time, I was walking through the park. Looking to my right, in the middle of the street, there was a man listening to a portable radio by himself. And dancing. It's not really that he was dancing... it was the way he was dancing. It was a gleeful, hopping dance--the kind that someone might engage in if they were singing in the rain or had a bluebird on their shoulder. And it was done repetitively, hopping from one foot to another, as if he were the only person on the planet.

It's great to see these people on occasion. To hear them giggle and pontificate, to see them marvel at their own feet or tell stories to fire hydrants. They walk with purpose and they laugh with abandon. They dance for no reason and joke around with the sky.

Which, come to think of it, begs the question: Who's calling who crazy?

The answer is that I am calling them crazy. They can call me crazy on their blogs if they want.