The Black Sea Boozehounds

We all have our talents. Some people’s talents place them far above any others in their chosen field of endeavor. Picasso. Newton. Shakespeare. Philbin.

But what if you didn’t know your talent, or didn’t know the extent of it? You knew you were good… but because you rarely saw a need to compete, you didn’t know how good you were.

What if you were the best ever and you never even knew it? And what if being that good saved your life?

I just read an article about a man in Bulgaria who was "knocked off his feet" by a car three years ago. When doctors examined him, they were not surprised to learn that he was drunk. They were surprised to learn how drunk he was.

His blood-alcohol level was 0.914.

The legal limit for driving in most cases is .08. According to one source a “level of 0.30 is classified as stupor, 0.4 is comatose and 0.5 is considered fatal.”

In other words, this man was twice as drunk as a dead guy. And I would like to point out that he was “knocked off his feet.” Which means that he was on his feet when he was hit, and it took an automobile to knock him down. His blood could be considered an incendiary, and yet he was standing up.

This man was clearly superhuman (and by the way, 67 years old). And he is not alone. One of his countrymen registered a 0.835 a year later. I'm guessing his breath could sterilize medical instruments at that point, or could blind a puppy. Oh, and he was driving at the time. Stellar.

It’s like they are breeding an alcohol-resistant super race in the former Easter Bloc. The Black Sea Boozehounds, they might be called, were they a minor-league baseball team.

In any event, I have a new perspective on Bulgaria—a mix of respect and fear. In fact, I may honor them by coining a new term. The next time I have an awful hangover, I might just tell people I’m “nursing a Bulgarian.”

On second thought, that might sound a bit weird.


Side note: I noticed in one of the articles, they talked of a "Latvian champion." That seems to suggest a competition (and an absurd Eurasian dominance of it.) Underground drinking championships. Like "Bloodsport" for booze. Hmm.