Heavenly Recommendations

There was an old man in the subway last week, handing out flyers. I'm pretty selective about accepting flyers from strangers, and generally judge them based on whether I think their piece of paper will be entertaining or useful to me. This man was short, old, and he was wearing a white golf cap--the kind of cap that only looks right with argyle knickers.

I took a flyer.

But wasn't a flyer. It was a newsletter. The newsletter, which was in its first issue, was entitled "Heaven Speaks Today". It offered prophecies given from both Jesus and the Virgin Mary on calamities to come, such as earthquakes and hurricanes, as told to a woman named Veronika of the Cross in the 1970's and 1980's.

Apparently, Jesus told us (through Veronika) that the clergy were not praying enough... roughly around the same time that Motley Crue was singing 'Dr. Feelgood'. Mary called the US and Canada boastful the same year the Mets last won the world series. But my favorite part of the newsletter was in the lower right hand corner, with a glaring white-on-blue headline:

'Recommended by Virgin Mary!'

I started to dismiss this in my mind, and then I caught myself. The Virgin Mary had never recommended anything to me before (save for a chaste life and a pure heart) and I was ignoring her the one time she was recommending something to me. I've accepted book recommendations from random people before. I've checked out websites that tatooed sales clerks have sworn were worthwhile. Was I now going to say that I was too busy to check out something recommended by the vestal matriarch of our spiritual rebirth? I envision an exchange between us:

VM: Phil, you should really check this out.

Me: Ah, yeah, sure... I'll have to check it out sometime.

VM: You're just saying that, aren't you?

Me: Yeah, I guess I am.

VM: It's not like it's a Neil Young record or anything. It's a recording of some of my prophecies, available for only $5 and the cost of shipping. Five bucks. You can afford that.

Me: How did you know I didn't like Neil Young?

VM: Are you seriously asking me that question? That's kind of a rookie question.

Me: Do you like Neil Young?

VM: His voice is grating, but I can appreciate his influence on today's musicians.

Me: That's EXACTLY what I think!

VM: Are you going to buy this tape or not?

Me: Ummm.....

VM: Figures. I'll bet if Oprah.... forget it. Whatev.


I still haven't purchased the tape, even though the Virgin Mary recommended it and I can afford it (as she predicted I could). The newsletter has gotten me thinking about the Virgin Mary though... her selfless life, her permeative grace. It's been a good reconnection with her message of love, and it's comforting to think that she doesn't really like Neil Young that much either.