I know Doozers. I used to watch Doozers. Sir, you are no Doozer.

I have seen them before, but this time I really saw them.

On the platform at a subway station—I believe it was 14^th Street—I saw these small statues. They were bulbous little brass characters. These things reminded me of Doozers, the hard-workin' little dudes from the show Fraggle Rock that was on when I was a kid. You had to love the Doozers. They didn’t talk; they just went about their day building complex, seemingly unnecessary structures. Cruelly, the Fraggles themselves would eat the structures that the Doozers built. But the Doozers kept building, indomitable.

So, at first I liked these little metallic statues, with their round heads and bodies. They were Doozers. Doozerish, at the very least. As I looked around, I could see they were spread throughout the platform--in no discernible pattern—in what seems to be a morality tableau about money.

There was one lobster, with a money bag for a head, which was crushing two children in its claws. Another guy just smiling and holding a money bag, and one big guy handing a coin to a very little guy. But this one was the one that intrigued me.

A Monopoly-looking Doozeroid lying on a pile of money (granted, they are pennies—but this amount of money might be a lot to a Doozer), with a lady sitting on top of him. She’s casually reading a book, he’s stretched in supine surrender (or maybe he’s unconscious). What really grabbed me was its somewhat lurid undertones.

If they made Scarface with Doozers, this looks like it would be a scene from it. Money. Sex. The only thing they are missing is few lines of coke. Is she reading the Kama Sutra, for God’s sake? These were not my Doozers: the Doozers of reticent industry. I mean, is this the kind of scene that children need to see on the subway platform? Rotund brass figurines partying like pop stars?

I will admit that it’s almost as creepy to see some dude on a subway platform taking pictures of lasciviously-posed metallic statues.