Pugilist Politics

I have been visiting myspace lately, and have recently added my seventh friend. I know almost all of them.

One thing that has captured my attention so far are the banner ads. One of the banner ads that keeps popping up on myspace shows a cartoon George Bush boxing against a cartoon Mike Tyson. I don’t click on these ads usually, but after seeing the president get his ass kicked several times by a convicted felon, I felt the patriotic duty to intervene. The ad said that I would need to click on a button to make George punch. So I did. I may not agree with his politics, but we are both Americans and these colors don't run, etc.

Usually the proud and defiant decider, the commander-in-chief looked pathetically unsure at first. He had weak, flaccid jabs and horrible footwork. I flashed to several scenes in Rocky, like the one where Apollo Creed says "There IS no tomorrow". I frantically pressed my mouse button, and George started to mount a comeback. More scenes from Rocky, like Mickey grumbling "You're going to eat lightnin', and crap thunder!" My pulse quickened as these warriors traded blows. George threw a left, Mike a booming right. All I could think about was whether my president's enormous clamshell ears would be too tempting for the carnivorous tendencies of a former undisputed world champion on Zoloft.

Eventually, persistence won out, and George W. Bush knocked out Mike Tyson because of me. It was a big upset. I was rewarded with the offer of a free ringtone for my phone. But to me, it wasn’t about the ringtone; it was about freedom and justice and democracy and a commander-in-chief with big, intact ears.