Chatty Clyde, Dry Baby

Many of my friends have recently started families. While I certainly notice the differences in our lives becoming more distinct, I always try to see the similarities as well. For instance, many of my friends have had less than the ideal amount of sleep because their babies wake them up all night.

Now, I don’t have a baby. What I do have, however, is my roommate’s cat Clyde. He’s a house cat, but given his ample fur, backwoods striping and considerable heft, I think he would fit right in with a pack of ocelots. Looks, however, are where the comparisons end—Clyde is about as domesticated a cat as they come.

Cats are supposed to be aloof. They are well-known for not caring whether you’re around or not. Feed them, empty their chamber boxes, give them the occasional scratch under their chin… but other than that, stay out of their way. Not all cats are like this, but the ones I’ve had all were. They would all look at me with half-closed ambivalent eyes, before dutifully getting back to licking themselves in fascinating places. I like cats, but they could take or leave me.

Not Clyde. Clyde yearns for affection, day and night. Usually when I get home, he’s there waiting, rubbing up against my leg – and that’s great. It’s good to have a pet that is affectionate like that. And he meows. Isn’t that nice?

But Clyde meows all the time. I don’t think even he knows why he’s meowing. It’s like he’s perpetually impressed with his working vocal chords. The wailing isn’t restricted to daylight, of course; Clyde sometimes does his feral ancestors proud by meowing all night. He will mew deep and low—from his preternaturally enormous diaphragm—in repetition and with gusto. He often reaches his peak during the dawn hours, like the bastard kitten of a lynx-rooster moonlight tryst. Earplugs work sometimes, but not always.

There are things you can do to train pets. I might even try one to see if it works. But, see, that’s where the similarities with my friends end—we may both be up at night, but they aren’t spraying their newborn child in the face with water from a Windex bottle.

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And for those of you who read the blog from my trip, you'll remember that this is the third different animal that has woken me up. Three. Apparently, animals band together across species-pyhla, even(there were some rough mosquito nights)-to change my sleep patterns.