You Snooze, You Win

Let's say that I know that I need to wake up in the morning at a certain time. Well, I don't need to ... but I really want to get up at that time. Really.... seriously, I do. It's best for me if I get up at this time, because it will make my day so much better -- I'll be able to get more done, I can go to the gym, whatever. Seriously. I really, really should get up at that time.

I've devised a wake-up system with two components, both electronic, both within a few feet of me. I set the alarm on my phone, and put it on the right of me. Then I set my alarm clock--which is on the left side of me on my bedside table--to play the local NPR station. I set them to go off within minutes of each other.

The phone is gentle--meep, meep, meep--it sounds like a chickadee waking up from a nap. I grope for it, pick it up, and with my eyes still shut, hit snooze.

The alarm clock is loud, and it reminds me that people are dying in the Middle East. Pundits shake my eardrums, ripping my sleep from me like cotton candy from a petulant child. It's more abrupt. I hit snooze with a vengeance.

Minutes later, the phone meeps again, almost apologetically. I hit snooze.

Minutes after that, the pundits are back, and my dreamscape is a maelstrom of Middle Eastern tensions. Snooze.

MeepMeep. Snooze.

"This is the fourth such attack in as many days....." Snooze.

Mee-. Snooze.

"The Bush Admininstration...." Smack! Snooze.


I go back and forth, rolling one way and the other, using both arms equally in a quasi-cognizant, supine wake dance. Mentally, I go from warm and fuzzy to gruff and stern. The motion, along with the variety of noises and tones, seems to finally wake me up--about 36-45 minutes after I had set my alarm.

Because no matter how heartily I tell myself that I really should get up at a certain time, I won't get up until I have to. There is something inside of me that knows when that is, and is in no hurry to get up any earlier. No matter how many drowsy chickadees, no matter how dire the situation halfway around the world, I want all the sleep I can get -- and every nine minutes added is a small victory for some restless part of me.