Tone, Temperament, and the Saving Graces of Hammertoe

The other night while on an uncrowded subway train, I saw a man get on and say something repeatedly to no one in particular. This isn't the first time I've experienced this -- there have been several times in the short period I've been here when strangers strike up a conversation with a ghost. But this one got my attention a little more than the others. Here's what he said:

"W--- All the white people look good tonight."

The dashes represent the remainder of a word I didn't quite make out in any of the repetitions of this statement. I will mention my weak theories of what that word might have been a little later.

My first reaction when the man said this was to immediately look anywhere on the train but at him. My shoes. My iPod screen. Any of the string of garish ads for elective medical treatments just above me on the wall of the train. Simply reading the statement this man made, you would think that I (as an exceedingly white person) would be flattered by it. A sincere "Thank you very much, that's kind of you, oh stop, what -- you mean this old thing? I just threw this on." kind of flattered. But here is where tone and temperament come in.

First, this man was yelling his compliment. Since there are different kinds of yelling, I will describe his as this -- Generally, people who yell like this either: a) are shackled to a gurney "for their own safety", b) are the leader of a cult, or c) have just witnessed a threshing accident and are running for help.

Second -- it wasn't WHAT he said, it was the WAY he said it. He was saying it like the white people were a fine, marbled, medium-rare steak. He drew out the word 'good' to make it 'goooooood'... the way you do at a dinner table to indicate something is better than normal good. His tone didn't convey admiration -- it betrayed voracity.

Now I don't mean to say that this man was thinking of eating me because I was Caucasian. I don't pretend to know this man, or what his intentions were. I am simply saying that he wasn't complimenting me. So, rather than offer a 'thank you', I fell back on survival instinct -- never look the agitated in the eye. I looked down, around, even up at the ads-- and pretended to be fascinated by the idea of "Inexpensive and Minimally Invasive Bunion or Hammertoe Surgery". As I thought about hammertoe and what it might be, the man's shouting became more distant. And soon, it was my stop and I got off the train. I glanced at my reflection in the window on the way out -- I looked OKAY, I guess, but definitely not GOOD. He was probably talking about the other white people.

As far as the initial 'W' word, I really don't have any viable theories. It may have been 'wow!' but I just don't think that's something this guy would say. I guess it could've been "What?" as if he was surprised by the fact that we looked so good. But really, it just sounded like "Whirrrrr." And I have no idea what that means.