Different Posts for Different Folks

I am still on the search for a place to live, and Craig’s List is still where I go every morning to find it.

As with any public site, online or not, CL is subject to the personalities and quirks of those that use it. That’s one of the reasons I like it—it’s like people watching without actually seeing or smelling or making awkward eye-contact with people.

The Room/Share section is great for this cyber-people watching. There are even enough similarities between certain posts for informal categorization. For instance, there is the capitalizer. This person believes that their message is more likely to be noticed if THEY CAPITALIZE EVERY LETTER IN THE WHOLE THING. I sometimes sit and wonder what these people are like in person. Do they shout everything they say? Are they perpetually strung out on coke? If I were to meet them, would they stand close to me and shout quickly in my ear that they are INSANELY easy to live with?

There are also those that decide that punctuation and spelling are either unimportant, or require more time than they have to give. These people tell you how great the room is with windows and light they are never their so it will be like you own place and if your a partier then you can forget it but if not you could move in on the 15th know pets utilities included pleas call. At the end of a "sentence" like that, I feel dizzy and grammatically violated--and that is no way to start things off with a new roommate.

Some people on CL define themselves, and then they define you as you would be in their dream roommate scenario:

Me – Mid 20’s, responsible, professional.
You – 420 friendly, LGBT friendly, pet friendly, vegan friendly, friendly, not loud, not too old, female (see previous rant on testo-discrimination)

One person’s ideal roommate as posted on CL was a Quaker. Another was a ticklish 20-something woman. I enjoyed sitting for a while and thinking: what if a Quaker accidentally showed up at the tickle-happy apartment for an open house? The scene would be fantastical --the aggressive test-tickling of a giggling Quaker, who is battling the conflicting feelings of elation and self-loathing. It's drama, it's laughter... it's an interpersonal Chernobyl, with cackling.

In reviewing these Craig's List posts over the last several weeks, and then seeing some of what they describe, I have learned quite a bit. I have learned that almost every roommate situation, as described by those who are posting the room, is “pretty chill”. I have learned that I don’t care if I have a foosball table if they water pressure in the shower sucks. I have learned that people think a clawfoot tub in the bathroom makes up for a room that measures 10 feet by 40 inches (plus, windows!). I have learned that “quaint” means small, that “rustic” can mean rats, and that a “nearby 24-hour grocery store” can also mean nearby 24-hour vagrant hovel if you are talking about the wrong neighborhood.

I still don't have a permanent place to call home, but hopefully I will soon. Now, at least, I have developed an appreciation for the search itself, and for how hard it must be for all the Quakers who would just as soon not be tickled.