Bridging the iPod Divide

Based on reports in the media of rampant iPod theft, I changed the color of headphones that I use with mine. I had read stories about people having their pods ripped from them on the subway train, before the culprit ran out the closing train door. The trademark white headphones were the giveaway—the culprit could see who on the train had an iPod vs. say, another personal entertainment device. iPods are the coolest, totally the bomb, everyone knows that, and so they are most in demand on the street.

Patting myself on my back for a huge stride in street-savvy, I bought black headphones for my iPod. This, in my own mind, made me a conundrum to the shadowy underworld of iPod snatchers. You didn’t know what you were getting if you stole from me, man. You could get a circa-1995 Walkman, for Christ’s sake. And I kept my iPod in my jacket pocket, so you couldn’t even see if the headphones were attached to anything. Maybe I was just baiting. I taunted all would-be kleptos with my wide, inquiring eyes--a look that said “Go ahead, but ask yourself first if you know who you are dealing with. Yeah, I thought so.”

So, my pod has stayed in my possession, but I now find myself with another situation. I am being judged. In the silent, head-bobbing collective of NYC music listeners, something in the neighborhood of pity is being thrown at me with every white-headphoner I see. People assume I am listening to something other than an iPod. I am not part of their crowd anymore. The looks they give me are like those of parent to child: someday you'll understand, but you enjoy your innocence for a while. It’s a chasm they create, probably unknowingly, but no less effectively. The white headphoners, with their white iPods, up in their Ivory Audio Towers, so smug and condescending. Was I once like that? I think maybe I was, which only adds to the profundity and bitterness of my discovery.

Though I am one of podders, I am saddled with the knowledge of what it’s like on the other side of the iPod divide. I long for a world filled with gray headphones, and my new look says something entirely different:

“Can’t we all just get along?”